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Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in Learning to love ourselves one step at a time!'s LiveJournal:

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007
1:22 pm
I went to the gym the last two days! and i brought a 3 month membership - which cost $175 so hopefully that will be enough inspiration to get off my ass :)

My next step will probably be to buy a set of scales and see if i actually manage to lose some weight.

So if anyone has a gym membership and knows the best way to utilize it, let me know!
Sunday, June 24th, 2007
2:38 pm
Thoughts on weight and work.
I'm not going to do a huge introduction. My name is Shelby and there are things I'd like to change about myself.

I am not egregiously overweight. I am 5'6 and I weigh 152 pounds. Still, I have never weighed this much in my life, and I'm really not happy with myself or the way I look in any of my clothes. My boyfriend says he thinks I'm beautiful. I refuse to have my picture taken because I am convinced that I am ugly.

I have always thought that I am ugly. I do not really know why. I have never felt pretty, I have never felt feminine. When I try to make myself feel like either of those, I inevitably feel like an alien.

I used to be much more active than I am, and I used to be as skinny as a rail. I went swimming every day, I biked wherever I needed to go, and I was on the soccer team. Then college happened and I started taking at least 18 credits every semester which left me with little or no time to work out. I became extremely lethargic, mostly because I was too exhausted to do the things I love.

Last week I got fed up with seeing my stomach jiggle when I walk in my swimsuit. I kicked my excersizing into high gear and last week alone I lost four pounds. I started biking about 5 miles every other day, and I go swimming at night. I'm eating only fresh food, although I did cave to fried chicken the other day. In my defense, I hadn't eaten fried chicken in about 7 years.

I'm trying to eliminate soda from my diet, and I want to go organic... but I don't have the money and I honestly don't know if I'm mentally ready to give up all my comfort foods. I have a bit of a sweet tooth, and I don't know how to satisfy that without jumping into loads of... well, unhealthy crap.

Another thing I need to change about myself is that I need to get a job. I recently graduated with a degree in Journalism, (we're talking 9 days ago, y'all) and I've been applying for jobs for over a month. I've applied to over 80 jobs, many of which I don't give a flying crap about. The ones I do care about I have called back, but my phone remains largely silent except for the pyramid schemers who randomly found my resume on a job-search website.

It is very frustrating, and I am trying to maintain my healthy food regimine on literally no income. This is not working. Fresh food is expensive. Salt-ridden soup-in-a-bag is 10 cents. I am very stressed, moreso than I was in college under my graduation deadline. I worry about making rent, paying my bills, and finding a job in my field. I spend a lot of my time sitting in my pajamas, searching for jobs online and feeling like a bum.

I don't really like myself right now because I don't feel like I'm worth anything to any employers, which is distressing considering the past four years I spent paying tuition to become worth-while. Being unemployed is humiliating. In my heart I know I'm talented, capable, and tenacious, but my heart is fluttering and hiding behind my lungs right now because I'm scared.

I hope some good will come from this. I hope continued patience and professionalism will be rewarded. It just seems like change is so slow-going.

Sorry this is so long, you guys. I just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks if you read the whole way through.

Current Mood: rejected
Monday, June 18th, 2007
2:24 am
So, five days into my diet. Not too bad. I actually lost 4 pounds already, but uh, somehow gained two back? I think it's just water weight, cause my period's coming soon. Blah.

But yeah, I've finally gotten past the horrible ordeal of thinking about food all day. lol And I've found some good low cal snacks. So it's all good.

How do you guys keep from craving bad foods?
Saturday, June 16th, 2007
7:18 pm
Hello! :)
I just wanted to thank shellizzle for starting this comm! :) I hope it's successful for all of us!

Name: Kat
Age: 20
Location: West Palm Beach, Florida

Reason for joining Blossomy I want to make a positive change, and right now I'm trying to lose some weight.
Do you have a 43things site? If so, please give us the link to your goals list
I haven't been there in a bit, and there's not much there, but it's here :)

List five things you love about yourself and wouldn't change for anything:
1. My humor
2. My creativity/artistic side
3. My common sense
4. My boobs, even though I can't wait until they're back to a C cup. I've gained some weight lol
5. My taste in entertainment (books, movies, tv). I know it sounds stupid but I'm proud of my taste in that stuff. hehe

List five things you ultimately want to change through this experience:
1. My weight
2. My self confidence
3. My laziness
4. My pessimistic thinking
5. Being depressed all the time

Weight: 166 (I've lost a couple pounds in the past week!)
Height: 5'9
Measurements (if you know them): Nope!
Pant size: Depends, 16-18
Shirt size Medium? lol Sometimes large, depending on the shirt

Goal weight: 145
Goal pant/shirt size: 12-14 for pants

What do you plan on doing to reach this goal? Dieting (eating healthier, counting calories), exercising (stretching, cardio, swimming), being more active so I'm not always thinking of food! lol


Also, right now I'm studying for my permit so I can learn to drive, which is something that I haven't done yet due to certain circumstances. Then I hope to start college by the fall, and major in graphic design.

I also have a lot of issues with my mother that I need to deal with. I was thinking of going into therapy, but I never have cause I hate the idea of telling all my business (from the beginning!) to someone. lol

Good luck to everyone :)
12:49 am
blossomy is a community for those who are tired of who they are, but aren't exactly sure how to fix it. Yes, we're a diet and exercise journal, but that's not all! As a community we're striving to make our lives better through trying new things, culture, entertainment and just stepping out of our comfort zone. We're coming together to share experiences, pictures, recipes, stories, and much more. We're a support group!

If you feel like you're ready to take the next step with your life, then please join the community. At the moment membership is moderated, but you will be accepted if you're truly ready to make a commitment. We want people who will participate and share in the journey we're on.

With that being said please join and have fun! :)

<3 blossomy & shellizzle (maintainer)

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Once you join you can head over to the rules & regulations post to find out how to introduce yourself and what is expected of you!
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